My request
from a village in Brittany:
Please don’t dump Donald Trump as your nominee.
I would then be deprived
Of the joking derived
From his boastful, nonsensical litany?
Ev’ry Brittany bar sells me
whiskey,
And some French guys get really quite frisky.
It’s so neat packin’ heat
There in Texas, how sweet! But
for me it would be kinda risky.
The
POTUS must meet each criterion.
The strictest would challenge Hyperion: In the life of each
relative
There can be nothing negative,
Neither mulish nor foolish vulgarion.
There was once a front
runner named Hillary,
The GOP’s fav’rite to pillory.
While losing her lead –
Not one to concede –
Against Bernie she used her artillery.
Iowa candidates at the altar
of ethanol
View socialized subsidies in government’s protocol.
With corn payments so rich,
Campaigns dare not pitch
Policies affecting corn guzzling in gasohol.
The GOP choice is really
quite terrible.
Hist’ry has nothing that's
even compare-able.
One decision to dump
Both Ted Cruz and Don Trump
Might make the old party
repairable.
With Republican party ripped at the
seams,
Democrats seem to have all the right themes.
With POTUS as gift
Priorities must shift:
Down-ticket’s the means for congressional teams.
It seems strange here in
France and a little bit raucous
That the primary votes in
the Iowa caucus –
'Corn-husker Dynasty' –
With the calendar’s primacy
Might select the next
POTUS to shock us.
To Democrats Trump is
obnoxious.
Supporters allege he’s
innoxious.
Though Donald talks tough –
Pure conservative bluff –
Republicans fear he’s RINO-xious
Both Cubans cracked corn and
I don’t really care,
Mere proof of most
Iowans’ power of prayer.
Chris will make trouble
For the “boy in the bubble.”
And Jeb! will trump Ted
in the state of Hampshare.
New Hampshire is merely a
two-person race.
In the polls just one
dude gets a third of the base.
The other two-thirds,
In the fewest of words,
Are unanimous with animus
and just taking up space.
Young
women born since glass ceilings got cracks,
Which were made by a
lady in colorful slacks,
Don’t need to see proof
Of a frangible roof
They want the best POTUS
and Congressional acts.
One
hopeful showed footage from scenes so untrue
His campaign then
adopted a tactical hew,
So now there is Ted
In a party so red
Whose ads feature talent
from films so light blue.
Mister Trump takes aim on
his claim for composting.
There’s a tip from
casinos he cites in his boasting:
As the Art of the Deal,
With the stop of the wheel,
Then bet on that number,
for hist'ry's “past-posting.”
Filibuster lost luster, that’s all.
The Senate now faces
down-fall.
Ted, Marco and Mitch,
With the seven-year itch,
Erected a SCOTUS stonewall.
Trump pampers obsession
against honest concession;
With suppression and
sneers, verbal acts of aggression,
While he trolls ev’ry poll
To fill holes in his soul,
He wants to be POTUS with
no trace of discretion.
Jeb! has dropped out;
that’s abundantly clear.
It does not appear that
sixteen adds a year
To eighty-eight, ninety-two,
To oh-oh and -four too,
Four votes against
Bushes not a fifth time, oh dear!
One GOP candidate’s
words are rhetorical,
With health-care
positions that seem categorical:
“A mandate sure beats
Rife death on the streets.”
So twenty-sixteen might be
seen as historical.
Since voters have limited
span of attention,
The Trumpian secrets for
rapid ascension:
Deportation enforcement,
Christie’s endorsement,
Plus insulting resulting
in brokered convention.
From Rocky Horror Picture
Show,
The GOP right now must
know:
“Shiver with antici…pation.”
Next debate’s abomination:
Trump stomping stumps who
refuse to winnow.
For towers and powers one
clown overcame
The weakness and
bleakness of his strange fam’ly name.
Taking ‘Trump’ as triumph
Over meek ‘Mister Drumpf’.
And rendering the rhyming of
lim’ricks fair game
Cruz is
no valentine but Trump is so asinine,
The GOP must be drowning
in turpentine.
No time to be chicken,
So let the plot thicken:
“Contested convention”
this lim’rick’s bottom line.
Concealing those
transcripts keeps Bernie perplexed,
But what firm would pay
Hillary’s fees to get vexed?
Cordial words that she said
Could mean plenty to dread
As wingnuts take quotes
out of trivial context.
Trump insults voters and all candidates who come
into range
Trump’s behavior may be
weird but no longer seems strange
“Trump tells it like it is,” but gee whiz,
Does Trump really know how it is?
Changing Trump’s mind
would mean that Trump has a mind to change.
Are you going to Reince Priebus's Fare?
Party sage, delegates
laid bare.
Elites prone to bash
Both black and white trash
Find Trump’s marauders in
halls everywhere.
Playing the GOP’s game of
endorsement,
While facing the
flimsiest rules for enforcement,
You’ve got Mitt as your titular head,
So set aside all your Trumpian dread:
And forget all those
feelings of fretful remorsement.
Since women’s looks
comply with Donald’s calibration,
Ted has gone kaputs
against rodentian copulation.
(This lim’rick’s central issues
Are scribed on bathroom tissues.)
While Johnnie’s coin-op
venders grant college fornication.
‘Preparation’, ‘Presentation’, ‘Application’, and
‘Test’:
The
first three result in teaching that’s best.
But bureaucrats favor in Common Core
Classroom findings from number four,
And
mandating standards at Government’s behest.
A simple plurality won’t
result in contention.
Just give Donald Trump
undivided attention,
For in Cleveland, one tweet
Hints of hordes packin’ heat,
So forget all that talk
of a ‘brokered convention’.
Such convoluted
questions!So
the poor sap miss-spoke!
“Punish the woman,” he
blurts.And
so in one stroke,
Being politically correct,
His campaign got wrecked.
Are you not sad watching
Donald Trump choke?
Given cov’rage worth
billions, Trump begs for relief
When compliant reporters
in rare disbelief
Ask questions in series
To challenge his theories.
With Trump as our POTUS
we'll get Whiner in Chief.
State symbol legislation
demands contemplation
State flower germination
not state insect infestation.
For state book, one must take care:
Holy text but not Voltaire,
Thus solemn consecration
more than civil celebration.
Both
Clinton and Sanders are well qualified
As
candidates for POTUS thence govern nationwide.
Of that gaffe, “Subway ‘token’,”
New York voters have spoken.
Fork-or-fingers for pizza
must be certified.
Given three candidates
few voters can palate,
For gavel Paul Ryan will
need a huge mallet.
Now there’s Kasich and Cruz
Jointly putting the screws
To nomination of Trump on
the very first ballot.
Trump began his
ham-handed gender war
By drawing deep thoughts
from his limited reservoir.
It’s not very hard
To cry “Playing her card!”
But the Donald has chosen
a meaningless metaphor.
“Lucifer” for Cruz by the
Speaker from Dayton
Sure bedevils my
challenging task for creatin'
In meter and rhyme
A lim’rick to slime
Bête noire in Congress,
Beelzebub Satan.
Out of seventeen
hopefuls, Republicans selected
Trump as finalist no one
expected.
Add Christie’s concertina,
Joyless songs by Fiorina.
Will that be enough to
get Trump elected?
Provoking
the madness of crowds by pandering,
The GOP winner extolled
his own philandering.
No need for tact;
Instead when attacked,
Trump
merely cited a tabloid for slandering
Pursuing riches in
business: Is that the “American Dream”?
No, steady paycheck, fair
wages, good schools are life’s theme.
So Republicans beware
Trump’s voters don’t care
‘Bout ‘conservative
values’ and your ‘trickle-down’ scheme.
For a Speaker as Veep,
Trump has Gingrich or Boehner.
Chris Christy makes
sense; Rick Perry? No-brainer.
If Santorum’s too uppity,
Evangelicals like Huckabee.
Lose Cruz from the Senate and
there’s not one complainer.
Sarcasm Alert: Let’s not
be analytical.
One candidate for POTUS
is quite a-political.
With Trump as our saint,
‘Family values’ are quaint;
We’re licensed for lust,
thus not hypocritical.
Sarcasm Alert: Students
at Harvard, Princeton, and Yale
Need more scholars who
preach about Jonah and the Whale,
Noah and the Ark,
Creation in the dark,
Revelations and dogmas
found in every Bible tale.
Five choices define
hierarchy of pain:
‘Endorse’ or ‘support’ in
public can strain
What people with clout
Might want to get out.
In secret, vote ‘for’ or
‘against’ or ‘abstain’.
Let
Donald push Paul on a hospital gurney
As he
casually makes his polemical journey.
While the GOP’s scaffold
Leaves voters quite baffled,
Let Hillary run on a
platform by Bernie.
Loop-holes in tax-codes for Trump are abundant.
We all understand why
he might be reluctant…
To show huge depreciations,
Despite huge appreciations…
Voilà! Trump’s
campaign to the eye is self-fundant.
Primary voters thought
Trump was quite loaded.
“Self-funded campaign”
meant he’d never be goaded
By law-writing lobbyists,
Or check-writing hobbyists.
But in the election that
myth got exploded.
John Miller, press
spokesman for a real estate magnate,
Spoke “off the record”
with the chummiest mandate.
His boss then insisted
That he never existed,
Which immediately opened a
cable-news floodgate.
Give Chuck the majority
and Mitch the minority;
Give Nancy her gavel to
end inferiority.
Though lots of arrivals
Comprise “teams of rivals,”
Hillary’s Cabinetry
you'll see ‘White House Sorority’.
Changing from “previous” is not really devious.
Trump is obsequious; as
such he’s oblivious.
Mere poll-driven prattle,
All talk but no cattle.
The GOP faithful are
becoming quite queasy-ous.
To play the debt game, “Incongruities of Wealth,”
Leverage your balance
sheet; show a state of poor health.
To avoid paying tax,
Best hide all the facts;
Read Trump’s campaign
book: “The Art of the Stealth”
An American in France
finds Britons bemusing.
Continental communion
seems bound for a bruising.
The referendum called ‘Brexit’
Most assuredly wrecks it.
Still, Pythonic burlesque
makes the subject amusing.
The fibs in Trump’s rants
were not “career shattering.”
Then Hillary’s speech, in
its nonchalant battering,
With sense-of-absurd,
But not one curse-word,
Skunked GOP’s “nabob of
nattering.”
The GOP candidate is a
climate nay-sayer;
Plus he make heedless
holes in earth’s ozone layer.
For propellant, tell Trump
He can use an air pump
To deliver the glue from
his precious hair-sprayer.