2016 General Election
Published as comments in the NYT
See also...
2016 Primary Election
Copyright ©2016 by Paul Niquette. All rights reserved.

What Hillary Imagines
A  distinguished ex-FLOTUS
Will become a great POTUS.
         Let’s get Congress unstuck
         With Nancy and Chuck,
And judges to fill up the SCOTUS.
The Hillary and Bernie Road Trip

Trump is America’s misanthrope.

So the GOP is now losing hope.

         With followers of Sanders

         As election expanders,

Clinton gains an ethnic kaleidoscope.

Lord of the Lies

Whatever Trump says, more than half is not real.

Who can explain his ironic appeal?

         Support of his party

         Can hardly be hearty:

Democrats coalesce, Republicans congeal.

Mitch McConnell Won’t Rule Out Rescinding His Endorsement of Donald Trump

There was once a senator named Mitch

Who spoke about Trump’s racist pitch,

         “I’ll rescind my endorsement

         If he scoffs at enforcement

Of political scripts without glitch.”

Meg Whitman Likens Donald Trump to Fascists, Shaking G.O.P.’s Brief Truce

In Utah’s mesquite at Romney’s Retreat,

Big donors effete plainly turned up the heat…

         On Speaker Paul Ryan

         To explain his weird buy-in,

Since every Trump tweet is so ghastly unsweet.

A Party Agrift

Let investors get miffed when they find they’ve been stiffed.
Repeal all the rules, cast regulations adrift.
         For each fool’s paradise,
         Give investment advice.
 “The Art of the Grift” will make kick-backs quite swift.
Patriotic Presidential Quiz

With delegates in Cleveland all singing the blues,

The never-Trump folks need someone to choose.

         With conscience in doubt,

         Just pick a drop-out:

Christie, Kasich, Carson, or Cruz.

Hillary, Beyond Email

That FBI guy James B. Comey,
Thought Hillary’s a modern Salome.
         He cannot indict,
         And so just for spite,

His eleven-month brief was quite foamy.

Trump Reaps a Veep

Gingrich has wives in the past tense;

Christie has ordeals soon to commence –

         Distracting a smidge

         For jamming that bridge.

My bet is Trump’s choice is Governor Pence.

Trump’s Celebrity Shortage

In explaining the absence of Trump’s best guerrilla,

No words were the truth – No, not one scintilla!

         Citing existence

         Of extreme distance

Hah!  “Jetting to Cleveland from her home in Wasilla”?


Pence Versus Trump Kids  
Millions tuned in for the speech of Mike Pence,
Trump’s Veep selection that made the most sense,
          But Manafort’s fibbing
         ‘Bout Melania’s cribbing,
Plus boos for Ted Cruz were extremely intense.
Behind Hillary’s Mask
Young women born since glass ceilings got cracks,
Which were made by Hillary in colorful slacks,
          Will help assure proof
          Of that frangible roof
In her campaign for POTUS and success to the max.

Unconventional Hardly Covers It

 DNC’s e-mails, which were rather defamatory,
Got leaked and made Sanders’ dead-enders accusatory.
          Then something worse –
          A moderate curse –
Giving Kaine keys to the Naval Observatory!

Desperately Avoiding Donald

The GOP hopes voter scorn still prevails

About Hillary flubbing her private e-mails,

         But Senate down-tickets

         Are dragged through the thickets,

Caught in the fabric of Donald’s coattails.

You Choose or You Lose

Voting for ‘no-one’ would be most unwise.
Must all Republicans renounce their franchise?
         Sure, most of Trump’s twitting
         Has shown him unfitting.
Let GOP voters split ballots crosswise.

The Perfect G.O.P. Nominee

Balanced conservatives, if there be some of those,

Have a balm for their qualms, as far as it goes:

         They continue to mock,

         But vote for the hawk

Instead of that blockhead the GOP chose.

The Psychiatric Question: Is It Fair to Analyze Donald Trump From Afar?
Our GOP candidate seems bent on obliquity.
While polls show rejection approaching ubiquity,
         Let’s not get too lazy
         By saying he’s crazy,
Pronounce Trump’s unfitness as hateful iniquity!
The Water Next Time

Let the GOP blame an old codger in France,

Whose satire in limericks are all published freelance.

         While watching with glee

         Trump fall out of his tree,

You can hold Krugman blameless in this game of chance.

The Dumbed Down Democracy

Every Trump rally is a circus side-show,

Since he does not know what he does not know.

         While thumbing his hand-held,

         He’s dumber than Rumsfeld,

Twittering ‘facts’ Trump voters un-know.


Save the Republican Party: Vote for Clinton

Republicans must prevent self-vilification.

Voting for Clinton with justification:

         You avoid taking blame

         For the GOP’s shame

Since Trump means disaster for unification.
Trump and Clinton Take Up Arms
To explain the volcanoes that erupt in his head
Trump does not use logic or knowledge.  Instead,
              In poll-based orations,
             He makes phony citations:
“Many people are saying [what I just said].”
Sexism: Let’s Deconstruct Donald

 L’Americain en France took Giuliani’s advice,

Typed “donald trump illness” on the google device,

         And read awful prognoses

         In copious diagnoses --

Nearly 10 million hits would be more precise.

Thugs and Kisses

In divining the leverage in Vlad’s game of chess,
An old hacker in France, with infinite regress,
          Finds Putin so strong
          That Trump goes along,
But without those tax filings, voters must guess.
Who Will Make It Through the Homestretch?
Some facts tend to be sleepy stem-winders.
Campaign advisers can be mindless minders:

         Per-cents must be thrifty,

         “Forty-seven” not “fifty,”

Put deplorable voters in “baskets” not “binders.”

Trump Talks, but Can He Tango?

For post-election TV cavorting,

Who’ll do Donald’s disco consorting?

         Kellyanne with white flag?

         No, Giuliani in drag.

As payment for all his proxy contorting,

Trump Makes His Birther Lie Worse

Each GOP big-wig who eschewed Trump endorsement

Spent a year under pressure from party enforcement.

         For whatever it’s worth,

         That certificate of birth

Lingers no longer as official remorsement.

Ready, Aim — Voting

Villagers in Brittany find Missouri astounding

As a state in the Union with firearms abounding,

         And unlicensed ‘conceal-carry’

         Making life there quite scary,

With unlimited weaponized ‘standing-your-grounding’.

And Now, Presidential Dog Days

There was once a smart dog named Apprentice.

Her escape from Trump tower was momentous.

         Some people say

         She ran away

‘Cause her owner was non compos mentis

Who’s Really Older, Trump or Clinton?

The GOP candidate was horrible.
Trump proved just how much he’s ‘deplorable’,
         Using ‘stamina’ to pillory
         His opponent named Hillary.
Her rejoinders were really adorable.

Fat-Shamer in Chief

Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Who’s that slob with hands so small?
         Who has no heart
         But says he’s smart?
It’s Trump, the guy with gift-of-gall.

How Could Anyone Vote for Trump?

In public, Republicans can do some assertin’

That Trump has their vote for certain, for certain.

         It’s then quite pragmatic

         And not too traumatic

Just votin’ for Clinton behind the poll curtain.

Girl Talk at Trump Tower

Trump’s campaign staff, housekeeping and clerical
Features Newtie and Rudy with spouses numerical,
         Plus Roger and Chris
         With waste lines amiss.
No wonder their candidate gets so hysterical.
Speak Up, Mr. Vice Presidential Candidate. We Can Barely Hear You.

Donald Trump has been eligible for quite a long time

For Social Security, which for him is sublime.

         In tomorrow’s debate,

         Will Mike Pence get irate

When asked by Tim Kaine if Trump spends ev’ry dime?

 

Mike Pence’s Galling Amnesia

Mike Pence keeps in focus his 2020 campaign,

But voters see 20/20 without slightest eye strain.

         A thousand garages

         Storing media montages

Recall Mike Pence lies in replies to Tim Kaine.

 

Who’s Sorry Now? The Country

Trump’s vulgar practice since campaigns have begun

Of withholding expression of regret for wrong done

         Gets hard to un-spoof

         Since the burden of proof

Is carried by videos archived by the ton.

Solving the Riddle of the Slovenian Sphinx and the Pussy Bow

How wonderfully stylish and apropos

For Melania’s debate night cameo:

          She dressed in a costume

          From Trump’s locker room,

A fuchsia pants-suit with a pussy bow.

And Now, the Good News Is …

For political democracy, what’s the first rule?

“First get elected,” affirms any fool.

         But each word you've said

         Is an object of dread.

Think magnetic tape on an infinite spool.