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               Version 1.2 101 Doozies I've Met Copyright ©2019 by Paul Niquette, all rights reserved.  | 
          
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 Fifteen
                    years would go by before I learned the rest of that
                    story.  Here it
                      is... First,
                    let’s go back a couple of years to 1955.  As a newly
                    minted engineer, I joined Hughes
                      Aircraft as a technical instructor.  There were
                    11 of us new grads teaching military classes on the
                    theory and operation of the company’s Falcon
                      missile guidance systems.  One of
                    them was an exceptionally cheerful chap named Dale
                        Jensen.  He always
                    seemed to be grinning and often made a honking sound
                    when he laughed with noisy back-drafting gasps.  Dale and I
                    were the same age and younger than the others.  They had
                    graduated under the GI
                      Bill, each with wife and most with kids.  Our
                    offices and classrooms were in Building 114, remote
                    from the company headquarters in Culver
                      City.  Taking
                    pity on our isolated environment, the company
                    arranged to install a wooden box on an office
                    wall.  It featured a slot and a stenciled label
                    on the front, Suggestions
                      Bldg 114. As our
                    work went along, weeks turned to months.  I got
                    curious about whether anybody from headquarters was
                    actually collecting suggestions from our box on the
                    wall.  One
                    night, I used a screwdriver to open it.  The box
                    was crammed with folded, type-written pages.  All were
                    dated and signed by one person, Dale Jensen.  The
                    collection produced raucous laughter from all of us
                    – except the author, who struggled to display a
                    good-natured grin. The
                    first suggestion was straightforward enough: “The
                    sink in the restroom has two separate faucets.  That means
                    to wash one’s hands, one must use either ice cold
                    water or scalding hot water and nothing in between.  My
                    suggestion is to install a mixing faucet.”  The next
                    suggestion was dated some weeks later.  A new
                    first paragraph was added, which pointed out that
                    the company should encourage hygienic practices by
                    its employees. 
                    The next suggestion said that providing a
                    stopper for the sink might seem to be an
                    improvement, but for soap-free rinsing, one needs to
                    fill the sink and adjust the water temperature
                    twice, which takes more non-productive time away
                    from work assignments than using a mixing faucet as
                    previously suggested. 
                    The type-written pages became increasingly
                    insistent, then indignant, and finally peevish, “The
                    company management obviously does not care much
                    about suggestions from the professional staff!” Until I
                    saw his grinning image on television a couple of
                    years later, that was about all I remembered about
                    Dale Jensen.   
 Before
                    the launch of Sputnik
                    on October 4, 1957, my technical career at Hughes
                    had gotten interrupted by an undeserved promotion
                    that took me into administrative realms and multiple
                    geographical relocations.  More than
                    a dozen years later, I held a position on the
                    corporate staff of Xerox
                    in Stamford, Connecticut.  During one
                    of my oversight visits to XDS
                    in El Segundo, California, I happened to drive past
                    Hughes Aircraft one evening and saw a man wearing a
                    necktie and a familiar grin riding a bicycle.  Sure
                    enough, it was Dale Jensen.  I rolled
                    down the window on my rental car and called out to
                    him.  He
                    greeted me back, with his characteristic laugh
                    complete with back-drafting.  Dale then
                    invited me to follow him home for a “grape juice.” The
                    Jensen residence was a stucco bungalow typical of
                        1950s construction in a
                    neighborhood with tricycles and wagons in nearly
                    every driveway. 
                    Dale parked his bike in the garage next to a
                    workbench piled high with home projects in various
                    stages of completion. 
                    He told me that his wife had taken the
                    children grocery shopping in the family van.  “Typical
                    Mormon family,” he grinned.  “The house
                    will be quiet for a while.”   Dale took me
                    through the kitchen with cluttered drainboards,
                    stopping to fill two jelly glasses with grape juice,
                    thence onward into the living room.  He cleared
                    toys and pillows from the furniture, and we sat
                    down. Dale was
                    a graduate of Brigham
Young
                      University. 
                    I had forgotten that.  We
                    reminisced about our teaching days in Building 114.  I did not
                    bring up the suggestion-box incident.  Neither
                    did he.  Dale
                    told me the names and ages of his children, of whom
                    I lost count.  As
                    you might imagine, I was quite distracted – eager to
                    get on to the Sputnik thing.  Nevertheless,
                    I endured prolonged recitations of family matters
                    until I ran out of polite questions.  I cleared
                    my throat… “You may
                    not want to talk about this, but a number of years
                    ago I saw you on television.”  I watched
                    Dale for a grimace. 
                    He grinned instead. “You’re
                    right, Paul, I don’t ordinarily like to talk about
                    it.  What
                    do you want to know? “You
                    were going to jail,” I said.  “It really
                    looked like that anyway.” “No, I
                    did not go to jail, but I was guilty.”  Dale
                    Jensen laughed. 
                    “It was all a joke, really.” “A
                    joke?” “Yeah,
                    Travis and I built that transmitter as a joke.
                    Travis owns the house on the corner.  We both
                    have amateur
                      radio licenses – that is, I had a
                    radio license. 
                    It’s a long story, Paul, but we figured that
                    hams all over the world were set up for monitoring
                    the original Sputnik satellite signals, on 20 and 40
                    megahertz – hey, back in those days it was still
                    called ‘megacycles-per-second’,
                    remember?  Anyway,
                    Sputnik’s battery had gone dead after only three
                    weeks in orbit. 
                    Travis and I just gave all those ham
                    operators something else to listen to.”      
                            “If it was a joke,
                    why did they arrest you?”    
                            “Somebody
                    complained to the FCC
                    about the signal strength was my guess.”      
                            “Why didn’t
                    you just shut the dang transmitter off?”  (As a
                    courtesy to my host, I substituted ‘dang’ for one of
                    my customary profanities.) “We
                    couldn’t shut it off, Paul.  Travis and
                    I had lashed the thing up in a treetop in the
                    mountains.   And
                    the way the transmitter was programmed, its
                    batteries might have lasted for months.”  “Your
                    transmitter was ‘programmed’?” Dale
                    grinned.  “Yeah,
                    it was automatically turned on for ten minutes about
                    once an hour, to simulate an artificial satellite
                    passing overhead.” “Hey,
                    you guys went to a lot of trouble for – well, I
                    would call it a prank.” About
                    then, Dale’s wife arrived.  Marleen,
                    if I remember her name correctly, was a harried housewife
                    with frazzled coiffure, wearing a faded print dress
                    and lugging grocery bags in both arms.  She came
                    into the house surrounded by more than a handful of
                    offspring of various ages along with neighborhood
                    children, presumably, all exercising their voices as
                    if they were in childhood training for solo operatic
                    performances.  Dale
                    Jensen and I took our grape juice drinks and
                    conversation to the front porch.  He cleared
                    toys and pillows from the porch furniture, and we
                    sat down. 
 “The
                    concept was elementary,” Dale said, quite noticeably
                    content to engage in techie-talk
                    with a former colleague.  “The
                    transmitter itself used a 20 MHz crystal oscillator
                    for the input to a pentode amplifier with push-pull
                    triodes as base-band drivers for the antenna.  The
                    Sputnik design
                    actually called for two base-bands.  The other
                    came out of a series resonant circuit synched to the
                    first harmonic, producing 40 MHz as an overtone.  For
                    switching between the two frequencies, Travis picked
                    up a 60-Hz buzzer in the same junk-yard where we
                    found the dashboard car-clock.” “The
                    clock was used to mimic orbital periods, am I
                    right?” “Yeah,
                    we glued a microswitch to the face of the clock with
                    its spring-loaded contact positioned to be flexed by
                    the minute hand. 
                    The microswitch energized the solenoid of a
                    relay that controlled power to the whole system.  The
                    transmitter came on slowly as the filaments heated
                    up, like Sputnik.” “But
                    when the relay dropped out, wouldn’t the signal stop
                    suddenly? Dale
                    shrugged.  “Our
                    simulation of the orbital period was far from
                    perfect.  Don’t
                    forget, Sputnik took more than 96 minutes to go
                    around the earth, not an hour.” “So then
                    you put all that stuff in a box and hauled it up to
                    the mountains?” “Travis and I are
                    Scout
                    masters.”  Dale
                    gave me a grin. 
                    “Our troops had a weekend hike scheduled with
                    an overnight camp-out. 
                    While the kids were putting up their tents
                    near the trail-head, Travis and I took a walk in the
                    forest and found a pine tree with branches suitable
                    for climbing.” “And the
                    system worked, did it?” “Did it
                    ever!  When
                    we got home from the camp-out, I powered up my ham
                    rig in the garage with its audio beat-frequency
                    oscillator switched on.  After a few
                    minutes, the signal came on gradually and beeped
                    loud and clear – much stronger than expected.  Travis and
                    I cheered and clapped each other on the back.  In a dozen
                    minutes the signal stopped.  We cheered
                    again, of course. 
                    Travis went home and listened on his own
                    receiver and phoned me, laughing.  We
                    speculated that when the F1 layer moved upward in
                    the ionosphere
                    every night, the signal might be refracted all over
                    the world. “Did you
                    ever hear from other ham operators,” I asked. Dale
                    became solemn. 
                    “No.   But an article appeared in CQ Amateur Radio,
                    and it really spooked Travis and me.  It warned
                    readers about the kind of trouble one can get into
                    with the Feds by playing wireless jokes.  We decided
                    to lay low and not submit our system design.”      
                          “When did you find out you
                    were in trouble?” I asked. “A
                    couple of weeks went by.  Travis
                    called me one morning and said that the signal had
                    gone off and was staying off.  It had been
                    as strong as ever just the day before, but now it
                    was off.” “Your
                    box up in the tree had been found.” “No
                    doubt about it,” said Dale.  “I
                    listened to the local news on KNX
                    and heard that the ‘Sputnik Imitator’ had been
                    located in a National
                      Forest, and now whoever was responsible for
                    the thing was being sought by authorities.  Travis and
                    I were both scared to death.  We agreed
                    that each should get legal advice right away.  I called
                    the only lawyer I’d ever heard of, Grant
                      Cooper.” “Grant
                    Cooper.  Wasn’t
                    he the guy who defended Carole
                      Tregoff?” “Yes he
                    was, but that was years later.  Anyway, he
                    did something strange, I thought.  He called
                    a friend at KTLA
                    with a heads-up for the coverage of my arrest.  I found
                    out why later, but it sure seemed strange at the
                    time. I was most worried that my parents in Utah
                    would find out about it, but they didn’t.” Throughout
the
                    Government, Dale told me, people were not fooled for
                    one second by the simulated ‘resurrection’ of the
                    dead Soviet spacecraft.  Moreover,
                    they were not amused by our electronic spoofing of
                    Sputnik, which had already precipitated a crisis
                    in the U.S.  Indeed
                    the Space
                      Race was already getting under way.  A rumor
                    circulated in which officials in the Pentagon
                    had become concerned that a Soviet agent secretly
                    planted some kind of radio
                      beacon in the Los Angeles area to provide
                    precise targeting for an armed spacecraft.   “Any
                    such ‘spy-craft’ was totally unnecessary,” Dale
                    scoffed.  “Heck,
                    there’s a 50,000 watt, 600-foot tower operated by
                    'Clear-Channel Station' KFI
                    that has been permanently located in Los Angeles
                    since the 1920s.” 
                     As
                    evidenced by the clattering coming from inside the
                    house, dinnertime was approaching in the Jensen
                    household.  I
                    really wanted to learn all about the trial of Dale
                    Jensen, so I invited the man himself to dinner at
                    his favorite restaurant, and he accepted.  Dale
                    opened the front door and hollered at Marleen that
                    he would be back after dinner.  I quipped
                    that I might become a Mormon if it means I don’t
                    have to get permission before changing plans of an
                    evening.  Of
                    course, Dale gave me his honking laugh with
                    back-drafts aplenty. 
                    Seems he was just as eager to talk as I to
                    listen. 
 In my
                    rental car on the way to the restaurant, Dale told
                    me that, as advised by his lawyer, he entered a plea
                    of not guilty and elected to request a
                    trial-by-judge not a jury.  Various
                    governmental bodies became involved in the
                    investigation of the ‘Sputnik Imitator’.  The FCC
                    played a key rôle in the courtroom drama.   The FCC
                    witness for the prosecution testified in detail that
                    they dispatched a panel truck to Los Angeles
                    equipped with a loop antenna on top, which can be
                    rotated from inside the truck to determine the
                    relative bearing of the transmitter – ‘determine’,
                    that is, only during the ten minutes every hour when
                    the transmitter was transmitting.  The truck,
                    of course, is confined to roadways between
                    transmissions, so the technicians inside the truck
                    must draw bearing-lines hour by hour, day after day,
                    night after night. 
                    Each bearing-line must be laid out on
                    roadmaps using a work-table inside the truck and
                    marked at the exact location of the truck where it
                    was stopped. Dale
                    learned later that, while the search continued,
                    official progress reports were necessitated at
                    higher and higher levels in the Government.  Eventually,
                    one four-star general at the Pentagon was summoned
                    to brief the White House staff and President Dwight
                      D. Eisenhower himself.  Serious business,
                    that. During
                    dinner, Dale told me that the FCC investigating team
                    did their stalking with the
                    truck-mounted-loop-antenna from San
                      Bernardino into the mountains.  At more
                    than one point along the way, a deep draw or a
                    riverbed separated the location of the stopped truck
                    and the transmitter. That necessitated reversing
                    course and driving around extra miles to find the
                    most appropriate hill. 
                     Getting
                    closer to the transmitter, the countryside got
                    steeper and more rugged and, most significantly, the
                    investigators ran out of roadway for their truck to
                    drive on.  Progress
                    was then halted while technicians drove back to
                    their electronics laboratory in the city.  They
                    developed and built a portable receiver that could
                    be fitted within a backpack with its loop antenna
                    referenced to magnetic north.  Days later
                    and appropriately equipped, the FCC investigators
                    resumed their search by climbing up the mountain on
                    foot during periods of radio silence, stopping to
                    take bearings from the transmitted signals and to
                    plot intersecting fixes on a card-table.   During
                    one resting period, while waiting for the
                    transmitter to power up, the weary hikers sat down
                    on the hillside and munched their sandwiches.  One guy
                    looked upward and saw glinting on a piece of wire
                    dangling from a pine limb – the actual antenna of
                    the Sputnik-spoofing system.  They
                    summoned the FBI
                    forensic team, one member of which was the next
                    witness in Dale Jensen’s trial. 
 The FBI
                    agent described climbing high into the tree with
                    tools, camera and a two-hundred-foot nylon cord.  He took
                    pictures from various angles, which were shown to
                    the judge.  The
                    agent then described how he donned rubber gloves and
                    tied the nylon cord around the box. He cut the rope
                    that was tied to the tree and carefully lowered the
                    offending system to the ground.  One of his
                    colleagues disconnected the dry-cells, which brought
                    all transmissions to a stop. Later,
                    in the FBI lab, the box was examined by forensic
                    analysts for latent fingerprints,
                    of which there were many.  The
                    examiners determined that they belonged to two
                    people, but their identities could not be traced in
                    the crime files of that time.  (Reminder
                    to readers: It was 1957, decades before there were
                    computers capable of scanning large databases of
                    fingerprints.) 
                     FBI
                    investigators then disassembled the transmitter
                    system, piece by piece.  The
                    handmade plywood box was painted olive drab and had
                    no distinguishing marks.  Every
                    electronic component
                    in the transmitter system was carefully examined.  People in
                    the courtroom laughed when the witness described a
                    homemade inductor coil comprising a toilet roll
                    wrapped in copper wire. All the rest of the parts
                    were commercially available from popular retail
                    outlets such as Radio
                      Shack.  Except
                    one.  The
                    FBI found a 20-MHz quartz crystal
                      oscillator which had "Hughes Aircraft" printed
                    on it.   The next
                    witnessed was the inventory manager from the Hughes
                    Aircraft lab where Dale worked.  The first
                    question asked by the prosecutor was, “Where do you
                    work, sir?” Grant
                    Cooper, defense attorney for Dale Jensen, jumped to
                    his feet. “Objection!” he shouted.  “That
                    question is not relevant to these proceedings.” The
                    prosecutor and the judge were both stunned.  So was
                    Dale Jensen.   Cooper
                    lowered his voice and continued, “My client is
                    prepared to concede that the crystal oscillator was
                    the means by which the FBI tracked down the person
                    who built the transmitter.  Furthermore,
                    my client admits that he stole the oscillator from
                    his employer.  However,
                    Mr. Jensen’s employer was not involved in any of the
                    matters before this court.” Over our
                    dinner, Dale Jensen explained the legal stratagem to
                    me: “Before
                    the trial began,” he said, “a top-level executive in
                    Hughes Aircraft contacted Grant Cooper on behalf of
                    Howard
                      Hughes himself. 
                    The executive adamantly demanding only one
                    thing -- that the name of the company was not to be
                    divulged in the trial."  Jensen evidently kept
                    his job as a result of Cooper's success on that
                    point. 
 Having
                    no more witnesses to call, the prosecutor rested his
                    case.  The
                    judge asked Mr. Cooper if he was ready to begin his
                    case for the defense. 
                    He said he was prepared but requested a brief
                    adjournment to confer with his client  The
                    judged granted him five minutes.  Cooper
                    leaned close to Jensen and spoke just above a
                    whisper, “My advice is that we change your plea to nolo contendere.” 
 Dale was
                    bewildered.  He
                    asked his lawyer what such a plea meant.  Cooper
                    told him not to worry – that the prosecutor simply
                    had not met his burden.  “There
                    won't be any fines to pay." he said, "and no
                    jail-time for sure.” 
                    Dale grinned and gave the OK.  His
                    attorney patted him on the shoulder and said, “I’ll
                    explain later.” 
                    Cooper stood and addressed the judge, who
                    granted the plea change -- to the consternation of
                    the Federal prosecutor and his team of expert
                    witnesses. Dale and
                    I walked out of the restaurant and climbed into my
                    rental car.  He
                    told me that the trial came to a quick end.  The
                    prosecutor made only a perfunctory closing
                    statement.  Grant
                    Cooper delivered a polite speech to the effect that
                    his client will apologize for what was intended as a
                    harmless prank. 
                    Cooper pointed out that, as far as the public
                    is concerned, Dale Jensen has already been harshly
                    punished by what was depicted on television during
                    his arrest.  Apparently
                    the judge agreed. As we
                    pulled into his driveway, I commented that only a
                    few hours ago Dale Jensen was actually seen (by me)
                    riding his bicycle out of the parking lot at Hughes
                    Aircraft. He
                    grinned ruefully and allowed himself to chuckle.  “Probably
                    work there for the rest of my life, Paul.” Then he became
                    quite solemn.  “That
                    judge ordered me to stand up in the courtroom and to
                    express out loud my humble apologies for
                    inconveniences I had caused for persons and
                    organizations. 
                    Like a child, I had to promise never to do
                    any such thing again in the future.  Finally, I
                    accepted full personal responsibility for
                    everything, so there would be no trial needed for
                    Travis.”    The
                    judge pronounced a simple sentence: the loss of
                    Dale’s amateur radio license.  “It was only a
                    hobby,” he said with a shrug as we walked to
                        his front door.   We shook
                    hands.  I
                    thanked Dale for sharing his story with me, then
                    turned to leave. 
                    “One more thing,” he said.  “Do you
                    know what my lawyer charged me for that one day?” “Probably
a
                    whole lot,” I replied. “It sure
                    was!  That
                    guy sent me a bill for $500!”   Standing there under his porch light,
                    Dale Jensen was not grinning. 
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