 Applied
to a person, stupid is a hurtful slur.
With great effort,
I have forbidden myself to do that. For modifying
other nouns, I
try to find more polite alternatives. In place of
a stupid statement,
for example, I often use non sequitur...
non
sequitur n.
1.
Logic. An inference or conclusion
that
does not follow from established premises or
evidence.
2. A statement to which no
answer seems appropriate or
reasonable.
3. A statement made or a
question asked by a person who
is clearly unclear on the concept.
-- The
American Heritage Dictionary of
the English Language
...with that third sense added
by the author
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Non Sequitur of the First Kind
(an inference or
conclusion that does not follow from established
premises or evidence)
makes way for logical absurdities.
-
Here is a typical juvenile joke.
"Why are you snapping your fingers?"
"To keep the elephants away."
"There are no elephants within miles
of here."
"Works pretty well, doesn't it."
-
An adolescent anecdote is quoted here.
Non Sequitur of the Second Kind (a
statement to which
no answer seems appropriate or reasonable) is suitable
for satire, for
self-deprecation, and for put-downs.
-
"Prime numbers are odd" (a quote found
here).
-
"The ideal rate of expansion is
exactly 17.65717% per year"
(a quote found here).
-
"The moon is only 1/16th the size of
the earth, but it's
farther away" (a quote found here).
-
"Winning isn't everything. It's
the only thing" (a
quote found here).
-
"You're really into that old bicycle
shit, aren't you." (a
quote found here).
Non Sequitur of the Third Kind (a
statement made or
a question asked by a person who is clearly unclear on
the concept) was
discovered by the author while conducting tours of the Bicycle
History Museum.
-
"Have you ever considered donating all
these old bicycles
to a museum?"
-
"That drive shaft [on the 19th
centrury chainless
bicycle] is just like the one on the BMW
motorcycle."
-
"You should see my 21-speed mountain
bike, with Campagnolo
components, indexed derailleur, side-pull
calipers,..."
-
"The tires have gone flat on my old
Schwinn in the garage."
-
"What is the advantage of the large
front wheel [on the high-wheel
bicycle] over the sprocket and chain?"
Non Sequitur of All Three Kinds:
such a rarity
might indeed qualify for pejoration as stupid.
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