101 Words I Don't Use
by Paul Niquette
Copyright 1996 Resource Books All rights reserved.

pancake n. A thin cake made of batter, poured on a hot, greased skillet and cooked on both sides until brown.  Also called a griddle cake, flannel cake, flapjack. 

The eighties gave us the personal computer (PC).  Or vice versa.  And the nineties appropriated PC for something else.  Something altogether the hell else.  A forlorn lunacy, if you ask me -- hey, make that "pompous craziness."

From the beginning, the abbreviation PC seemed curiously familiar to me.  To figure out why, I turned my PC loose.  And my brain.  You may not care, but here's the result.

paint can
 palm civet
 paper cup
 parhelic circle
 parlor car
 patio chair
 peach cobbler
 pedestrian crossing
 penal code
 per capita
 percussion cap
 peremptory challenge
 perpetual calendar
 petty cash
 pharmaceutical chemist
 pillow case
 pilot cell
 pima cotton
 pin curl
 pipe cleaner
 plaster cast
 playing card
 plum cake
 pocket calculator
 poker chip
 polar cap
 polar coordinate
police court 
politically correct
pollo coat
pollution control
portion control
postal card
post chaise
potato chip
pound cake
prairie chicken 
press conference 
pressure cooker 
primary colors 
printed circuit 
prison cell 
privileged communication 
probable cause 
probate court 
process control 
profit center 
program counter 
promiscuous consumption 
propagation constant 
proprietary colony 
protective custody
provenance certificate 
punched card 

Yet one more word-pair might be synthesized for the list: "preferred clinical," to which category "urination tournament" belongs (as a euphemism for an especially vulgar PC expression).

Then my brain scrounged up pancake, a word forbidden by my mother.  One among many (see lawyer).  Why she mandated "hotcake" in its place is still a mystery to me.  I always meant to ask.  Perhaps it had something to do with "Pan-Cake" the long-lost trade-mark for a brand of face-powder.  Nice try, brain.  But no, my mother was merely a pioneer in political correctness (see person).

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More than a decade has clicked by.  The web is now festooned with collections of every imaginable description.  Many are massive, exhaustive.  There is this one, which features acronyms on demand.  Type in "PC" and seconds later your screen will be slathered...

Pacific Commission, Pacific Corp, Pacific Crest, Pacing Count, Pack Charger, Package Coordinator, Packet Classifier, Packet Communication, Packing Company, Packing Crating, Page Cache, page center, Page Computing, Page Contact, Pain Center, Pain Conditions, Paint Chips, Paiste Cymbals, Palliative Care, Panama Canal, Panama City (Florida), Pancreatic Cancer (ugh), Paper Corporation, Parallel Computer, Paramyotonia Congenita, parenchymal cells, Parental Control, Parents Choice, Pareto Chart, Paris Cedex, Paris Click, Parish Center, Parish Council (England), Park Center, Park Chicago, Parks Canada, Parsec, Partial Color, Partial Conversion, Partial Correlation, Partial-Comply, Partition Coefficient, partition coefficients, partly cloudy, Partner Communications, Parts and Components, Parts Cables, Parts Compaq, Parts Components, Party Chief, Parvus Corporation, PassPort Control, Passenger Car, Password Company, password crackers, Patch Cord, Path Control, Patient Condition, Patrol Craft, Paul Colman, Paul Conti, Paulo Cesar, Payload Commander, Payment Center, Payment Check, Pepsi Cola, Peace Commissioner, Peace Corps, Peaches & Cream, Pediatric Cardiology, Peer Counselor, Peg Count, Pelvic Contractions, Pen Computing, Penal Code, Penalties Committed (soccer), Pencil Crayon, penicillin, Penn Central, Pentium Celeron, Pentium Centrino, Pentium class, People's Court, People Choice, Per Capita, Peripheral Control, Peripheral Controller, Peripheral Components, Personal Care, Personal Carer, Personal Copy, Personal Code, Personal Computer, Personal Consulting, Personal Contact, Personnel Carrier, Personnel Center, Personnel Code, Perspective Community, Petty Cash, Pharmaceuticals Corp, Phase Change, Phase Control, pheochromocytoma, Philco Corporation, Phoenix College, Phone Call, Phone Cards, Phone Centre, Phone Challenge, Phone Codes, Phone Connections, Phone Cord, Phosphatidylcholine, Phosphocreatin, phosphocholine, phosphorylcholine, Photo-Conductive, Photograph Collection, Photonic Crystals, Photos Check, Photoshop Class, Photoshop Contest, phthalocyanine, Phycocyanin, Physical Chemistry, Physical Conditioning, Physical Contact, Physical Contradiction, Physics Computer, Physikalische Chemie, Physiological Chemistry, phytochelatin, Piacenza (Italy), Pictures Consumer, Piece of Crap, Pierre Cardin, Pierson College, Pilot Chute, Pilot in Command, Pilotage Chart, Pipe Cooler, Pissing Contest, Pitch Control, Place Chadstone, Place Contact, Plane Change, Planetary Camera, Planned Commitment, Planned Community, Planning Commission, Planning Council, Plant Cell, plasmacytoma, Plastic Casings, Plastic Conduit, Plated Copper, Platform Controller, Platinum Copper, Platoon Commander, Play Console, Player Character, Player Controlled, Players Club, Pleasant Company, please click, Pledge Class, Plug In Card, Plus Category, Plus Controller, PoPulation Council, Pocket Calculator, Pocket Computer, Pocket Cook, Poet's Corner, Point Communications, Point of Curvature, Pokemon Colloseum, Poker Championship, Polaroid Corporation, Police Car (or Cruiser), Police Constable (UK), Policies Company, Policy Committee, Policy Copyright, Polish Cleaner, Political Committee, Political Correctness, Pollution Control, Polycarbonate, polycarbophil, Polyester Canvas, Polymer Clay, Polymer Concrete, Pony Club, Pop Classic, Popular Choice, Por Carlos, Port Charlotte, Port Chester, Port ComPlex, Port Company, Port Connecting, Port Connectors, Port for Control, Portable Chassis, portable computers, Portal Connector, Porterville College, Portfolio Contact, Portion Control, Ports Communication, Position Classification, Position Current, Positive Control, Possible Change, Post Card, Post Cibum, Post Coital, Post Commander, Post Computers, Postal Clerk, Postal Code, postconception, Posting Calendar, Potential Carcinogen, Potting Compound, Pour Condolences, Powder Coating, Power and Cooling, Power Cables, Power Carrier, Power Change, Power Characteristics, Power Commander, Power Compare, Power Computer, Power Computing, Power Consumption, Power Contacts, Power Control, Power Converter, Practical Components, Practical Course, Prague Czech, Prayer Corner, Precast Concrete, preconditioned, Predicate Calculus (logic), Prediction Center, Preferred Carrier, Pregnancy Calendar, Prerequisite Course, Presbyterian Church, Presbyterian College, President and Chief, Presidential Classroom, Press Cambridge, Press Check, Press Clips, Press Conference, Press Coverage, Press Ctrl, Pressure Calibrator, Pressure Compensating, Pressure Controller, Pressure Cooker, Prestressed Concrete, Pretty Cool, Prevent Child, Prevention Control, Prevention Coordinator, Previous Channel, Price Change, Price Check, Price ChoPPer, Prices Current, Prices for Computer, Primary Care, Primary Caregiver, Primary Center, Primary Contact, Primary Conveyor, Prime Contract, Prime Contractor, Prince Charming, Prince Consort, Principal Component, Principal Consultant, Principals Committee, Principia College, Print Cartridges, Printable Catalog, Printer Cartridges, Printer Color, Printing Capabilities, Prior Certification, Prisoner in Custody, Privacy Council, Private Citizen, Private Communication, Private Contractor, Privatisation Commission, Privy Council, Pro Centum, Pro Chipset, Pro Compaq, Pro Course, pro cracks, Propagation Committee, ProPagation Criterion, ProProtein Convertase, Probabilistic Computing, Probable Cause, Problems Computer, Proceed with Checkout, Process Capability, Process Cluster, Process Code, Process Computer, Process Containment, Process Control, Process Controller, Process Cost, Processing Command, Processor Cache, Processor Core, Processors Celeron, procollagen, Procurement Clerk, Producers Conference, Product Call, Product Capacity, Product Catalog, Product Category, Product Centers, Product Code, Product Computers, Production Certificate, Production Contractor, Production Control, Production Controller, Production Coordinator, Productivity Commission, Products Cameras, Products Car, Products Catalogue, Products Compare, Products Computers, Products in Categories, Products The Complete, Professional Center, Professional ComPuter, Professional Consultants, Professional Counselor, Professional Custom, Profile Class, Profile Connection, Profit Centre, Program California, Program Call, Program Chair, Program Chip, Program Code, Program Comprehension, Program Control, Program Coordinator, Program Council, Program Counter, program cracking, Programmable call, Programmable Controller, Programmable Controls, Programme Committee, Programming Control, Programming Custom, Program Course, Progress Check, Progressive Coalition, Project Code, Project Committee, Project Control, Project Coordinator, proportional counter, propylene carbonate, Prosecutions, prostate cancer (ugh), Protection Class (insurance), Protection Color, Protection Compare, Protective Custody, Protocol Control, Protocol Council, Provisional Cost, Proximate Cause, Psi Chi, Psychiatrisch Centrum (Dutch), Psychological Conditions, Psychrometic Chart, Public Catalogue, Public Citizen, Public Companies, Public Convenience (UK), Publications Current, Publishing Computers, Publishing Conference, Pulse Compression, Pulse Command, Pulverized Coal, Pump Controller, Punting Center, Purchase Contract, Purchasing Card, Pussy Cat, Putnam County, Putter Cover, and Pyruvate Carboxylase.