horseshit n. 

1. Vulgar.  Excrement of a horse. 
2. Vulgar Slang. Insincere talk; nonsense; misleading information; lie. 

"What have you been working on lately?" my brother Alan inquired idly.

"Horseshit," I replied.

"Pardon?"

"Still in the h's, I take it," observed David, my other brother.

"Decided to take out the 'bullshit' entry," said I.

David kept a straight face.  "I'm not surprised."

Alan followed the conversation wide-eyed.

"Like I often say, David: Differences are more important than similarities."

"Quite so," David mused.  He turned to Alan.  "Don't you agree?"

"Sure, but -- "

"For example," I interrupted.  "'Bullshit' can be a verb sometimes.  'Horseshit' is always a noun, and there is no such thing as a horseshitter."

David squeezed the smirk off his face. "Never thought of that before."

Alan takes a ribbing with a puzzled frown.

"Not only that," I continued, "but there's no such thing as a 'horseshit artist.'"

"You might consider telling me what you guys are talking about," Alan complained.

"Weren't you planning to do some kind of a study?" asked David, ignoring Alan.

"Funny you should mention that," I replied.  "You know, all around us there are statistics: public opinion polls, demographic surveys, market research -- "

David nodded.  "We have them, too.  Care to guess what factor is used by the most people in choosing a church?"

I thought for a moment.  "The preacher -- no, the music."

Alan signaled a time-out.  "What do statistics have to do with -- "

"It's parking, Paul," said David. "The quality of sermons ranks below the child-care facilities."

"Parking," I chuckled.  "Must be discouraging for you men of the cloth.  Anyway, you're making my point.  See, not everybody chose parking, did they.  Well, in my own statistical study, I have observed 100% agreement."

"No 'undecideds,' even?" asked David, raising his eyebrows.

Alan reached his point of exasperation.  "What study!"

"So far, every person I have asked gives the same answer: 'horseshit' is definitely the stronger, more offensive term.  It means a lie; 'bullshit' is merely a form of foolishness.  At most, 'bullshit' implies exaggeration."

David fought with his face.  "Any theory?"

Alan brightened and plunged into the conversation.  "Cows are ruminants."

David and I looked quizzical.  It was our turn to be dumfounded.

"Ruminants," said Alan with a shrug, "can digest cellulose. So their excrement is less offensive -- "

"That's disgusting, Alan!" I exclaimed in mock shock. "David and I are having an intellectual discussion about horseshit, here.  It's filthy to talk about bovine excrement."

"Equine excrement, you mean," Alan corrected.  "Horseshit is equine excrement."

"Gotcha."